Toad in the Hole

1 | By: narya on April 9, 2008 at 02:34 AM

Kinda like those Aveda ads on the el where they encourage people to learn “esthiology.” C’mon, people, you’re teaching salespeople how to sell cosmetics.

2 | By: kathy a on April 9, 2008 at 07:00 AM

makeup = compassion?  new one on me.

3 | By: Ron Sullivan on April 9, 2008 at 07:41 AM

It gets worse. Or something.  Evidently the Legendary Himself won’t be in the store in person. One Alexis, also male, will, well, here:

“A professional makeup artist trained in Aucoin’s techniques, he can show you how to achieve a fresh and fabulous look that just may help YOU conquer the world --- one perfectly arched eyebrow at a time!”

There is an odd and un-cut ‘n’ pasteable line drawing of a woman with a ribbon round her very long neck, drooping eyelids, and a hairdo featuring an apparent set of antlers, centered below this paragraph.

Phew.

4 | By: narya on April 9, 2008 at 07:58 AM

Antlers??!  *snort* Yeah, I can see how that would make me irresistable.

5 | By: VS on April 9, 2008 at 09:01 AM

Well, they might be less likely to argue with you, Narya, but you’d have to be careful during hunting season.

Makeup must have *some* power - why else would so many people be afraid of clowns?

6 | By: narya on April 9, 2008 at 09:40 AM

I regard (and use) makeup as camo.  It works reasonably well, though the cowboy boots and the cursing like a longshoreperson tend to ruin the impression.  It was sort of interesting to be in a job for two years where makeup served absolutely no purpose and where I thus didn’t wear it at all.  (In office jobs it serves as a signaling device, which isn’t always a purpose worth one’s time, but you know what I mean.)

7 | By: VS on April 9, 2008 at 09:49 AM

I’m always amazed by the changes that can be made by someone skillful with makeup.  Not a skill I have—plus I prefer to sleep a bit later in the morning.

8 | By: kathy a on April 9, 2008 at 09:51 AM

i use a little makeup in public / professional situations—but hardly anything flashy.  antlers don’t seem my style, assuming i have one.

9 | By: narya on April 9, 2008 at 11:01 AM

I think I’d be okay wearing antlers so long as I stayed w/in city limits.  (I’m actually wearing boots made of deerhide today, which I tend to call my Bambi boots.) And in my current neighborhoods, it probably wouldn’t even get a second look.  OTOH, how would they stay attached?  Sounds like a version of high heels for my head.  Or something.

10 | By: Ron Sullivan on April 9, 2008 at 10:53 PM

VS, that’s precisely why I quit using the stuff almost 40 years ago. I had a short spate of buying and using it last year, but somehow it never really got to be worth the investment. Not ruling it out; sometimes I need what camo (Exactly!) that affords me too.

Narya, I think one would have to grow the antlers. Dunno who will get there first, the genetics folks or the random body-modders.

11 | By: narya on April 10, 2008 at 12:48 PM

Okay, that’s way too much work, and way too much of a commitment; it’s why I never got a tattoo (i.e., I couldn’t find something I wanted to wear every day).  I’ll stick to earrings.

12 | By: narya on April 10, 2008 at 12:49 PM

On the other hand, if I were truly inspired, I’d write a pseudosociobiological study about how earrings are inverted antlers, and maybe even pull in some of the pomo anthro stuff while I’m at it.

13 | By: Sara on April 11, 2008 at 06:23 AM

I’m still stuck on the word “legendary.” Who is writing legends about makeup artists?  Who?  Are there kennings involved?

14 | By: VS on April 11, 2008 at 06:39 AM

Inverted antlers???  Narya, surely earrings are just an example of life before pockets!

15 | By: narya on April 11, 2008 at 07:01 AM

Hah!  Another theoretical explanation of earrings!  Which may explain why women’s clothing has been so slow to develop pockets.

Speaking of pockets, go read <a href="http://buggydoo.blogspot.com/2007/06/contest-humiliating-moments-in.html">this</a>.  I warn you that you will likely spit beverages, especially if you read the contest entries. And her “Broke” posts from the following month are beautiful.

16 | By: VS on April 11, 2008 at 09:30 PM

Oh, dear… On a newsgroup sometime back, one of the posters from a *very* small town reported on a neighbor trying to get her tiny daughter to behave in the only grocery store for miles around. 

She tried distraction.  “Come here and give me a kiss.”

The child yelled loudly enough for the entire store to hear “Eeeewwwwwwww!  You had daddy’s penis in your mouth last night!”